Stadt

Munich Exposed – Part 1

• Über
• Letzte Artikel

Irina Bako

Irina Bako is a foreign creature who loves rumpus, writes for people and loves talking about herself, but not right now.

Letzte Artikel von Irina Bako (Alle anzeigen)

• Retro-Pop aus Thailand: Chris Menist im Interview - 20. September 2011
• Thank you for rocking so hard! - 12. April 2011
• Brit Jazz Week – Soweto Kinch and the poetry of jazz - 21. März 2011

Der wöchentliche Blick auf München von außen – oder: a weekly rant of a non-Münchner Mädchen.

I got some great news this week. You’re reading it, in fact, my great news. It’s this right here. It’s being able to tell you guys (charming yet intricate youth of Munich) about you and your fellow citizens, directly from your home base.

I’d have to limit your imagination by revealing things about me (I don’t want to do that), so I guess you’ll get to know me through every weekly column I’ve been given the awesome privilege to write. I’m here to tell you stories based on daily observation; stories of the way you feel (to me) as a city, the way you react (towards me) as a crowd, or impress (you guessed it) as individuals.

You need to know that this idea started from not being sure whether I’m an expat or an immigrant. This lead to a bipolar attitude, which means sometimes I love Munich so, so much (in my expat episodes) and other times I loathe it and curse the god of chic and ignorant people for preferring this city. I feel the terrible urge to tell you about both phases.

So let’s begin with some conversation starters. The direct translation of German words and phrasing into English is something that many, many of the people I’ve met so far do without noticing. This leads to the two classical questions I hear every time I meet someone: 1. “How long are you here?” and 2. “What are you doing here?”

Now they might sound innocent at first, but if you give it a thought, they both have this coating of superiority, and it’s all because of the faulty adaptation.

“How long are you here” can be read as “when will you leave”; this situation could easily be avoided if the question sounded something like “since when/for how long have you been here?”.

I also noticed that in Munich status is really, really important. The better your job description sounds like, the more people will listen to you. So answering the “what are you doing here” (read as “what the hell are you doing here”) question can be tricky for us foreigners. Why not phrase it like “so what do you do for a living/so how do you spend your time?” It’d feel so much better. Because honestly, sometimes it feels like talking to children.

You know how hard it is to talk to children, because you get the feeling they never understand you. Well, that’s what happens most of the times with Bavarians who “shame themselves so for their English”, like the ad in the U-Bahn says. Of course I don’t expect everyone to speak English (unlike this guy here) but I’ve got my wie geht’s (“how goes it?”) in order and you should too. There, I said it. Whew.

Another aspect which relates to first aquiaintance is the “street looks”. I spend at least an hour a day walking or riding my bike and I take delight in guessing who’s a local and who’s not just by the way they look at me. I have this long red hair and quite a puzzled, squirelly face most of the time. I don’t look “from here” and they, the (especially elderly) locals, know it. And I always, always wonder what is going on through their minds in that very instant; I don’t know if it’s the Bavarian way of checking someone out or just plain curiosity, but it looks weird.

It’s a mixture of perfect robotic face (Rutger Hauer’s face as a replicant, that is) with grandpa’s face when you did something really bad. And a cold stare. After a second or two, the face of the beholder suddenly lightens up and returns to its normal look. And after that they might even smile to me.

So what’s up with that? What is going on in those two seconds? What exactly are they looking at? Or wait, is that the way they look at everyone? I’m planning on installing a camera on my bike so I can take pics of these faces and show them to you. It’s really a mystery to me and I often wonder whether I’m the only crazy person noticing stuff like this. Am I? Please write and illuminate me if  you think I am.

Next week I promise to come up with a really interesting topic. This was just the first entry. Thank you for reading.

Bis bald!